The Chic Fic That Went From Bad To MUCH Worse
by Elisandre-the-Dark
Summary: When the authoress found a dusty fic under her bed, she decided to type it up and submit it. Little did she know her insane half was going to make a few...revisions first. You've been warned...


Obligatory Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any characters or things in this story. They all belong to Rumiko Takahashi and I have borrowed them and completely destroyed them. As I am not being paid for this, I hope she spares my life. I wouldn't...

NOTE: To all the people who love me (that would be...me) and all the people who don't (that's probably you), I apologize for the following fic. I originally wrote it to be a lovely bit of fluff between Inuyasha and Kagome. Then, I left it under my bed for a year. When I found it, my insane/sarcastic side pounded my hopeless romantic side into submission and lovingly rewrote the story. Cutting out about a third of it and making it even worse. You've been warned...

"Duck, Kagome, duck!" cried Inuyasha.

Kagome threw herself to the ground, crying out slightly as Naraku's sword slashed across her back.

"Kagome!" yelled Inuyasha, throwing off Naraku's demons and rushing toward her.

"Inuyasha, watch out!" cried Kagome, pointing behind him. Naraku stood there, sword raised above his head.

"You bastard!" growled Inuyasha, leaping out of the way. "Leave her out of this!"

_How perfectly typical of him,_ thought Kagome angrily. _Acting as though I can't take care of myself. _Obviously, she had forgotten her injury. She lifted her bow and took aim before loosing her spell-arrow. The arrow hit Naraku in the shoulder. He flinched, giving Inuyasha time to strike the killing blow. Naraku vanished, his robes falling to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

"Well, that was easy," said Inuyasha, looking back at Kagome. She rolled her eyes. How dense can one person be?

"Too easy," she said. "It was just another puppet."

"But, he was so powerful," said Inuyasha. Kagome shot him a glare.

"I'm sure one arrow and a blow from the Tetsusaiga would fell Naraku." Her voice dripped sarcasm. The hanyou growled low in his throat. The girl just ignored him and walked over to the discarded robes. She bent down and picked something up. "Naraku must be getting desperate," she mused. "There was a shard of the Shikon Jewel imbedded in this puppet."

"Good," said Inuyasha. "At least we got something out of this fight." Kagome just shook her head and looked around.

"Where are Sango, Miroku, and Shippo?" she asked, leaning on her bow.

"Probably finishing off the rest of the demons back there," said Inuyasha, hoisting the Tetsusaiga onto his shoulders. "Come to think of it, why didn't they follow Naraku? They want revenge just as badly as I do."

Kagome just gave him a withering glance. Can you believe idiots like him are allowed to walk among us? "They probably figured out it was a puppet. It was pretty obvious." She shot him a wicked glance. "To everyone except you, that is."

"Feh," was his only response.

"We should probably make sure they're all right," Kagome said, slinging her bow onto her back. It slapped against the fresh cut, stinging her in the process. She winced slightly in pain.

"Are you okay?" asked Inuyasha, concern chasing across his features.

"I'm fine," said the young miko. "It's just a cut."

"Feh." You'd really think he'd get tired of that word. He continued, "Well, if you weren't such a weakling, a little cut like that wouldn't be such a problem." Some men just never learn.

"SIT!"

_That insensitive pig!_ thought Kagome as she ran back toward the others.

Sango and Miroku were standing amidst the remains of many demons, waving cheerfully at Kagome. She smiled brightly, but Inuyasha, who had caught up to the girl, merely scowled as per usual. As Kagome ran toward the other two, Inuyasha stared at the cut on Kagome's back. It was deeper than he'd first thought and it stretched all the way from her left shoulder down to her right hip.

By this time, the girl had reached Sango and Miroku. Sango bent down and whispered something in Kagome's ear. Kagome whipped around to face Inuyasha, who was still staring at her. He actually managed to look surprise at the angered girl. Some men just can't figure it out, can they?

"SIT, BOY!" cried Kagome. Inuyasha made a rather ungraceful face plant into the ground, leaving a respectable sized crater.

"And I thought Miroku was a lecher," muttered Kagome irritably. She shot a glance at the monk, who was slowly edging nearer. "Don't get any smart ideas!" Wisely, he kept his distance.

Inuyasha lifted his head off the ground. "What do you mean I'm a lecher? In case you haven't noticed, stupid, that slash on your back is pretty nasty."

"It's not that bad," insisted Kagome, glaring at him.

"Aww, Inuyasha cares about you, Kagome," Sango giggled. The girl turned seven shades of red, while Inuyasha leapt up to his feet with a growl.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Miroku slid behind Sango, gesturing for Inuyasha to shut his big mouth. I swear, a billboard lit with neon lights spelling out SHUT UP INUYASHA could have been standing right in front of him and the hanyou would never know. Idiot. "Kagome can sense the jewel shards, so she can't die until the jewel is whole again."

Wrong answer, pal.

"So you can become a full demon?" asked Kagome, her eyes flashing. Look, she even gave him a warning. If he had just said no, he might have been spared. Sadly…

"Of course."

"That's what I thought," Kagome spat angrily. "SIT, BOT!"

"He had it coming," said Shippo, who had just run up to Miroku. See, I told you so…

"SIT! SIT! SIT!"

"Is Kagome still not talking to Inuyasha?" asked Sango later that night.

"I'm not sure they'll be on speaking terms again for a few days," said Miroku.

"Yeah," added Shippo. Always throwing in his two cents, isn't he? "Kagome's pretty mad?" Really? I didn't notice.

Inuyasha listened in on all this from the top of a nearby tree, scowling up at the moon. Why did it bother him Kagome wasn't speaking to him? _Besides, she called me a lecher for no good reason, _he thought irritably. Then, a thought hit him. Not literally, unfortunately. _I forgot she's injured! Dammit!_ The hanyou bounded off in search of Kagome.

And where was she? Why, Kagome happened to be taking a bath in a nearby lake. Though the cold water stung her back, she wasn't raised stupid and she knew she had to clean out the cut.

Suddenly, who should come running up to the water but Inuyasha himself? Big mistake, buddy…

"Kagome, get up here!" he cried.

Kagome screamed, naturally, and proceeded to give Inuyasha a few good sits. While he was lying semi-unconscious on the ground, Kagome rushed out of the water and got dressed.

"Will you knock that off?" he growled as he stood back up.

"Only when you stop acting like an idiot." No, she didn't actually say that. I wish she had, though.

"Stop spying on me when I'm bathing!" cried Kagome.

"I just wanted to help with that damned gash on your back!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Oh…" Guess she jumped to conclusions, eh?

"Sheesh," muttered the hanyou. "If you don't need help, I'll just leave."

"Wait!" cried Kagome. "I really could use some help." Now she feels bad…

"What do you want?" He spun around. I swear, he really blows hot and cold, doesn't he?

"Well, I need you to…" The girl blushed and looked away.

"What?" asked Inuyasha, taking a few steps closer.

"Could you rub this ungent Kaede gave me onto my back?" Kagome asked quickly. Damn virgin and her modesty…

"Um…" stuttered Inuyasha. "Okay." He reached down and took the jar from her hands. Kagome turned around and Inuyasha lifted her shirt with trembling hands. Obviously, he's shy. He started spreading the salve on, carefully minding his claws. And now, the story takes a weird turn…

The hanyou began to admire how incredibly silky her skin was. Kagome's scent filled the air, making Inuyasha feel lightheaded. After just moments of this sweet agony, he was done. He lowered her shirt and Kagome slowly turned around.

By this point, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. With a dull knife. Hell, probably with a butter knife.

"Dammit," he growled, grabbing her arm and pulling her against him. Kagome stood perfectly still, her face leaning against Inuyasha's strong chest and his hands resting gently on her still tender back. She looked up into his golden eyes and saw something burning there. And, she was confused. She waits and waits for this moment, and now she's stupid and can't comprehend what's happening.

He suddenly lowered his face down to her own. Which was good, because otherwise Kagome's head was going to explode as she tried, in vain, to understand what was happening. The kiss was gentle and sweet, making Kagome sway against him. When they parted, Kagome was shaking badly. Inuyasha just held her close for a few minutes, his lips pressed to the top of her head.

"You're not going to sit me, are you?" asked Inuyasha suddenly. Kagome looked up at him with a mischievous glint in her eye, making Inuyasha pull away a little in fear. I guess we should end that touching scene now, before I vomit.

Miroku, Sango, and Shippo were riding Kirara the next day, while Inuyasha carried Kagome.

"Is it just me, or is something strange happening between those two?" asked Miroku.

"I don't think it's just you," said Sango. "Look at them, they aren't bickering!"

"Actually, they seem pretty tense," mused the monk

"They haven't spoken to each other since the fight last night," said Shippo. I swear, why does this character even exist? He says nothing useful. Ever.

"Hmm…" murmured Miroku. Okay, in all fairness, that wasn't particularly useful either.

"So, Inuyasha," said Kagome hesitantly. "Did that really happen last night?"

"What?" I think he's clinically brain dead.

"You know," muttered the girl. "Down at the lake?"

"You mean all that hot and heavy sex we didn't tell the audience?" Gotcha. You guys are such suckers.

"Oh…" said Inuyasha quietly. "Yeah, I guess it did."

And that was the extent of their conversation for the rest of the day. Why? Because I said so.

When they finally stopped for the night, Kagome drug Inuyasha off to a quiet place to talk. Amid curious stares from the others, I might add.

"About last night," said Inuyasha hurriedly. "It, well…it never should have happened." Oh god, way to go.

_I knew it, _thought Kagome. _He won't let Kikyo go._

"Is it because you love Kikyo?" asked Kagome, looking away from Inuyasha. She just can't let him live that down, can she?

"Why do you always have to bring her up?" asked Inuyasha. For once, I'm on his side.

"Because, as…as much as I would like our…relationship to become…I mean, I wish we could be closer, but…I don't think that can ever happen," said Kagome sadly, sniffling. Crybaby.

"And that's because of Kikyo," said Inuyasha flatly. "Kagome, you keep asking me not to compare you to Kikyo, but you think it's okay to compare my feelings about her to how I feel about you?" Yeah! Hypocrite…

"But you do compare me to Kikyo," whispered Kagome. "Sometimes, when you look at me, I see something…flicker in your eyes. It's like love, but I know you're seeing Kikyo and not me."

Are you ready for a lovely "coincidental" visit? I am!

"You're wrong," came a soft voice behind them. Kikyo stepped into the clearing. Oh, this is rich… She just so happens to come in when they're talking about her. Can you say stalker?

"Kikyo?" whispered Kagome. Inuyasha, being a male, just sat there in shock.

"We shared a soul, remember?" reminded the older girl softly. "At least, before that witch put my soul in this body. And, when we shared a soul, I too saw how Inuyasha looked at you. He…he didn't see me. It was always you he was looking at." Oh, how sweet…

"But," said Kagome, "he…"

"How could he confuse the two of us?" laughed Kikyo sadly. "We are so different. You are warm, kind, and loving. I…" Kikyo swallowed painfully. "I never allowed myself to love."

Inuyasha turned sharply to face her, his eyes wide. But look, he's still in a stunned silence. Typical.

"I…I thought I could learn to love," said Kikyo. "But, I could never break through the fear I had. What if I was hurt or betrayed? That's why Naraku was able to fool me. I know that now." She sighed deeply. "I'm willing to let go of my hatred. Inuyasha, I'm sorry."

Oh, dammit. I like it when Kikyo's a heinous bitch. She's my favorite character. Why did she go and do this!

"It's okay, Kikyo," said Inuyasha. "So, where will you go now?" You know, in case he wants to follow.

"I'll die," said Kikyo simply. So much for following. "But you shouldn't worry. You have a wonderful girl here and you finally have friends. I wish I had been the one to soften your heart and heal your wounds, but I wasn't. Don't fool yourself. If you look deep into your heart, you'll finally find out who you really love." And, with that, Kikyo turned and left the clearing. I like to think she died and became the empress of Hell. And tortured many souls daily. That would be a happy ending for her…

Both Kagome and Inuyasha sat there for a moment in silence.

"She's right, you know," said Inuyasha quietly. "I don't see her when I look at you." At this, Kagome's head jerked up and she stared at him. "And it appears that, no matter how much I tried to prevent it, I've fallen in love with you, Kagome." With that, Inuyasha stood up and headed back to camp. Kagome jumped up and hurried after him.

Will you be content if I tell you that they get together and they defeat Naraku and they live happily ever after and make cute babies together? If that's enough for you, stop reading. I'm about to get mean…well, meaner. Enjoy, those of you brave enough to continue on...

The two managed to get back to the camp.

"I knew it," whispered Miroku as the two approached the campfire.

"Knew what?" hissed Sango, smiling innocently at the happy couple.

"I knew Inuyasha and Kagome would end up together," he said, turning to regard Sango. "I knew it from the moment I first saw the two of them together."

"That's funny," said a voice behind Miroku. He turned around to see Inuyasha and Kagome glaring at him. Apparently, they'd snuck up behind him. Kagome continued, "When you first saw me, you seemed rather interested in groping me and trying to persuade me to bear your child, if I remember right."

Miroku looked at the ground. "Well, maybe not the first time I saw them," he muttered. Sango smacked him just for the hell of it. Maybe it was jealously, too.

Unfortunately, the group was so preoccupied that they didn't notice the demon's approach. It tore through their camp, slaughtering everyone. For our younger readers, I'll spare you the gory details. Needless to say, the place was a blood bath and the demon contentedly picked his teeth with one of Shippo's bones amidst the carnage after it was all over.

And all their souls went to Hell, where Kikyo was waiting!

You see? Love only leads to great tragedy. And death. It's a very bad thing. Don't try it at home.

The _Bloody_ End (Literally) 


End file.
